In order to date you need to be able to flirt or in some way able to attract the attention of another single person. Not too much, and not too little, but just the right amount to generate interest.
It has been said of Christian singles that they suck at flirting. If you think of relationships as a dance it helps you to understand the dynamics. Where Christian men may appear to be passive Christian women who really want to be married will step into action. But Christian advice for dating couples on Christian advice for dating couples on dancing more they step into action, the more the men tend to draw back and hide.
This dynamic is visible not only in dating but also in marital relationships, and it can really wreck the love people feel for each other. Where one person draws back in order to avoid having to disappoint the other person, the other person ends up feeling hurt and neglected.
How to turn this negative cycle around? That is a more straightforward question to answer in couples therapy than it is with singles. In couples therapy you explain the dynamics and invite the withdrawing person to reengage, and open up. In singles you work with both sides separately. This is easier said than done. How do you reach out to the other gender without being Christian advice for dating couples on dancing eager or appearing more interested than you feel, therefore perhaps creating false expectations?
Because that is another issue singles wrestle with. But that is the tension you deal with when dating. And that is exactly what it should feel like, like tension. The tension between flirting and setting your boundaries.
Christian advice for dating couples on dancing is a narrow road to navigate! But you can do it.
You have everything in you to do it. All you need is to be aware of this tension and deal with it. Count on those first months of getting to know someone being a roller coaster Christian advice for dating couples on dancing an emotional ride between hope, joy and fear. If that is what you have, the road after the altar may be much less smooth than you were hoping for.
Because when two people merge their lives friction appears. Sometimes you scratch each other, sometimes you push each other forward. Aukelien van Abbema has a degree in Psychology and in Philosophy and owns a privately held practice as a licensed counsellor in Emotionally Focussed Therapy EFT for both couples and singles.
The book is easy to use in a small group setting or as course material. Aukelien currently lives in the UK and is available for speaking engagements at singles' events and teaching sessions for church leaders and fellow counsellors.
For more information go to www. Since the UK launch inthousands of Christians have found friendship, love and marriage through the site.
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Learning how to dance together — getting serious about getting married Written by Aukelien van Abbema. Read more articles on: Get weekly blog articles direct to your email inbox Be the first to read new articles every Tuesday.
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