Historically speakingmy primary goals, after consuming MDMA, consist of hugging friends, listening to Pet Shop Boys, taking bubble baths and squeezing butts, so when my friend Joel informed me that a stranger pulled a blade…. This guy pulled a knife on my friend so I pummeled him. Historically speaking, my primary goals, after consuming MDMA, consist of hugging friends, listening to Pet Shop Boys, taking bubble baths and squeezing butts, so when my friend Joel informed me that a stranger pulled a blade on him, just a
Oddities and monique dating quotes hours intoI was less than excited.
On that particular night, she had collaborated with her upstairs neighbors to throw a three-story apocalyptic drug-fueled rock-and-roll rager. I ran up and felt my stomach turn when I saw him in a yelling match with the apparent associates of the Oddities ryan and monique dating quotes. The culprit, who Joel pointed out, stood against a far wall with his cronies laughing like a super villain.
Perhaps in other circumstances I would have been more heroic but considering we were outnumbered, our enemy had a Rambo blade, and I was about to peak on an over-emotional, gay party drug, I focused my cosmic candy-coated vibes Oddities ryan and monique dating quotes calming Joel down. I put my gooey arm around him and said something wack like:. Perhaps it was the MDMA or the New Year but I Oddities ryan and monique dating quotes almost automatically relinquished the discomfort brought upon us by the knife incident.
And then, just like clockwork, I heard an annoying voice. Oddities ryan and monique dating quotes nihilist knife-wielder had spotted Joel and decided to re-engage him only this time the guy was with a sneering witch and a version of himself. Joel was not afraid, and yelled right back. After a back and forth, the hag got hostile and ordered us off of her premises.
I spoke up and asked Dr. Claw to meet me out front and to that he responded by telling me he would rather handle things on the deck.
Then, he slapped me across my face. I tried to step to him but his associate, who was significantly larger than I, pushed me back and told me to leave. At that point my brain was beyond bewildered. I stepped around my oppressor and lunged at my enemy with an Ibiza trance house haymaker. He was feeling himself so hard, it never occurred to him Oddities ryan and monique dating quotes someone might actually swing.
He fell straight back and his head crashed into the deck. With the intensity of a rave unicorn I was on top of him, lighting his skull up and likewise having my skull lit up by the screeching witch and God knows who else.
For every jab I landed on his unguarded dome, a member of his crew would land one on me, paying it forward with fists. Here he is discussing the fragile human skull. Every time one connected I saw explosions that looked like neon
Oddities ryan and monique dating quotes and rainbows.
Oddities ryan and monique dating quotes opponent just there, not making a sound, getting his Oddities ryan and monique dating quotes bounced off the wooden floor, waiting for the violence to cease. The deck was a dance floor of flailing bodies. Everyone was yelling things like. But the cycle of punching continued.
Eventually, someone yanked me off of him but I never let go of his collar and pulled him up with me. He tried to run towards the apartment but I gripped hard and swung at him with these cartoonish and terribly ineffective windmill punches. The hysteria and random blows I soaked up had voided any sense of grace or strategy I may have initially displayed and for
Oddities ryan and monique dating quotes last leg of the Oddities ryan and monique dating quotes, I just thrashed around aimlessly.
I let out this weird yell that could never be imitated by someone not trying to murder another on club drugs and delivered one last shoddy punch to the back of his head as he was ripped away from me. What appeared to be an army of stylish barbarians lunged for me and I turned on my rocket boosters and jumped through the door to the party. He told me that in the clusterfuck someone immediately snatched him by his tie and onto his back, choking him out. The mob
Oddities ryan and monique dating quotes out because they thought they killed him so they poured beer all over him to wake him up.
He said it worked and he tried to drink as much of it as possible as he awoke because, that was the only cool thing he could have done in that situation.
Once I realized that I was not going to die, we bounced to a legit rave where I ate more drugs and danced with a girl who is perhaps best described as a dreamy paradise techno mermaid.
My friend Oddities ryan and monique dating quotes made me a splint by taping a Marlboro box to my palm which looked really stupid but ending up being really cool because everyone would ask me what happened and
Oddities ryan and monique dating quotes would get to tell my heroic story over and over again.
Yeah, turns out his name is Ryan Matthew Cohn and he is like quasi-famous in the field of shrunken heads, embalmed baby fetuses, and monkey brains and stuff. That whole fight scenario sounded like a techno version of Sharks vs.
Pulling knives on people at hipster parties is a great way to confirm your status as first-rate 21st century tough guy. That guy looks like schweiner, he prob thought he was so cool cause he has some gay
Oddities ryan and monique dating quotes no watches.
That dudes lucky he didnt get stabbed by his own knife. When a person becomes an adult they realize that being mentally incapacitated and in the presence of large numbers of equally mentally incapacitated strangers is extremely foolish.
This story was awesome. My mate got punched Oddities ryan and monique dating quotes he was on MDMA. Writing self-congratulatory blog entries about getting into fights at hipster parties is a great way to confirm your status as first-rate 21st century
Oddities ryan and monique dating quotes guy.
Dude, I was at this party. This is your hardest out? Blogging about it dude? Grow a pair of fucking balls. With each telling the gets a little bigger.
A sober re-match filmed for our viewing pleasure by streetboner cameras is the only way to settle this.
Not sure how things are handled in North Carolina, I woulda assumed different, but as a boring Brooklyn clone transplant 15, with a bad facial hair, you should think twice before running to tell your awesome fight story to the nearest blog.
You guys were about to fight but Godzilla came in and wrecked everyone! It was ok though because Charles Barkley took care of Godzilla. If dude that got his as kicked is reading this, hahahahahahahahahahaha! You had it coming to you, looking like a smug asshole! I will not recognize you off the bat when I see you but someone will eventually point you out. When that happens, you will wish you had never even pondered the thought of writing this article.
I was on a lot of drugs but i remember a few things clear as day:. Starving for attention are we? This how people slander these days? By writing blog entries? Give me a fucking break. How pussy is that??!
I think an after school special is missing your elementary moralizing. Did he even have a Second? The sad thing about this all involved are well into their thirties.
IF you want a good time, just start fangirling him, and his horsefaced girlfiend will be on there in a flash. And for the record, his girlfiend is NOT that obnoxious bint Monique, the chick he dated on the show. None of them are great people. I like this story. This guy seems like a douche. I could probably fight him. Sorry the people that were actually legitimate guests
Oddities ryan and monique dating quotes a problem with it!
John Barclay seems like a swell dude to me, and I hate everyone. This Ryan dude seems like another willismaburg greenpoint bushwick wannabe toughguy. We are coming for you John. That is a promise. I never imagined I would ever type the following sentence.
Oddities ryan and monique dating quotes you type your next righteous internet post, please check for spelling and grammar mistakes.
Thank you for your time and have a nice day! I never meant to disrespect your dwelling but let us not forget that the reason for our hesitation was on account of the fact that your pal. People like this little Hitler youth in counter culture clothing wannabe bully with a death fetish should be called out whenever and wherever possible—especially if Oddities ryan and monique dating quotes brings laffs.
Makin me come back for more. She seems the fucking type. Ive known barcles for a long time now, I also know that he doesnt fucking lie…. He also doesnt start
Oddities ryan and monique dating quotes at parties, or with anyone for that matter.
To those threatening retaliation, grow the fuck Ryan Matthew Cohn Oddities ryan and monique dating quotes a wild weekend! And I have no brain cells to show for it, just a lot of scars, bruises and devastatingly dark memories. Ryan Matthew Cohn Oddities ryan and monique dating quotes too excited about my ripped shirt but the memories are worth it.
At this rate I should be able to write a pretty thorough memoir on my life. Ryan Matthew Cohn Im not going to deny that certain facts in his story are true, but this simply did not go down this way.
Even if I was beyond shitfaced I still remember it well enough. He did in fact pummel me after some bickering and shit talking back and forth keep in mind the original argument was between me and his friend. We went at it again some punching to the backs of each others heads, rolling around, and it was over.
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