Was Howell the first British author to equate distance and absence with affection and fondness? Some
Absence makes the heart grow fonder but that Absence makes the heart grow fonder first appeared in William Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice I checked onlineand this was the closest example I could find. Indeed the following line could have acted as a source of inspiration.
Epistolae Ho-Elianae the familiar letters of James Howell published Here is the complete third verse:. I've found references to Bayly's lyric, dating to and perhaps ; see "Pre published references to Bayly's 'Isle of Beauty,'" the final subsection of my answer, below.
Bailey" as the source of the phrase. I am glad this parcel of wooers
Absence makes the heart grow fonder but so reasonable ; for there is not one among them but I dote on his very absence, Absence makes the heart grow fonder but I wish them a fair departure.
The Howell quotation, by the way, appears Absence makes the heart grow fonder but this collection in a letter to Dan. I found a second, more specific reference to the Franklin Papers in Bartlett J. Whiting, Early American Proverbs and Proverbial Phraseswhich lists collected aphorisms under numerous generalized headings. Under the heading "Absence increases affection," Whiting offers the following items:.
For Absence rather increases than lesens my affections. How absenc endears a beloved object to us. TBurr in Burr Memoirs 1, Some think absense tends to increase affection; the greater part that it wears it away.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder but you formerly remarked that absence served but to height real love. Sure enough, the Franklin Papers site includes this fuller observation by Catharine Ray, in a letter to Benjamin Franklin dated June 28, What is become of my letters?
Tel me you are well and forgive me and love me one thousandth Part So well as I do you and then I will be Contented and Promise an amendment.
Evidently, the effect of absence on affection was something that Ms.
Ray had experienced personally. On the other hand, she didn't use the phrase "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," and presumably Franklin didn't publicize her letter to the wider world. Google Books does not contain any other reference to the Burr quotation, but the Foster quotation appears in Hannah Webster Foster, The Coquettean epistolary novel:.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder but think you [the Rev. Boyer] formerly remarked that absence served but to heighten real love. This I find by experience. Need I blush to declare these sentiments, when occasion like this calls for the avowal? I will go even further, and offer you that heart which you once prized, that hand which you once solicited.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder but sentiments of affection which you then cultivated, though suppressed, I flatter myself are not wholly obliterated.
Suffer me, then, to rekindle the latent flame, to revive that friendship and tenderness which I have so foolishly neglected. The endeavor of my future life shall be to reward your benevolence, and perhaps we may yet be happy together. According to its Wikipedia articleThe Coquette "was one of the best-selling novels of its time and was Absence makes the heart grow fonder but eight times between and Bayly expressed in his or earlier Absence makes the heart grow fonder but "Isle of Beauty.
Meanwhile, by way of Absence makes the heart grow fonder but that the opposing "out of sight, out of mind" school has a long pedigree of its own, Whiting offers these specimens under the heading "Absence is a cure of love":. Distance and Absence may cure a passion that may be greatly detrimental to my wife's onely Son. Tho absence they say is a general cure for love. Under the circumstances, it's not surprising that some people have sought to reconcile the rival schools of thought on absence by cobbling together as cited in Bohn's Hand-Book of Proverbs the saying "Absence cools moderate passions, but inflames violent ones.
The melody composed by C. The Symphonies and Accompaniments by T. No wonder this song has reached a fourth edition, it richly deserves it, and we have no doubt it will soon reach as many more. Bayley, Esq, with Symphonies and Accompaniments by T. And Google Books finds a nonpreviewable volume which it dates to bearing this title:. My Luve's in Germany. Sweet Jessie O'the Dell. The Battle of Hohenlinden. I don't think one proverb was coined in response to the other.
You've probably seen cases where a couple's fondness grows while they're apart, and other cases where their love grows cold.
These proverbs reflect the undying or dying love of different couples. I've seen cases where it would have been wiser to wait and the first gets quoted.
And different cases where waiting caused one to lose an advantage and the second gets quoted. Here are some similar phrases from Absence makes the heart grow fonder but Oxford Dictionary of English Proverbs.
The book also points to Bayly's Isle of Beauty as the source of the exact wording:. Fenton Monophylo 29v Absence reuiuieth our affection, enforceth our desire, and redoubleth our hope. Wotton [Pearsall Smith i. Herbert Priest to Temple Absence breedes strangeness, but presence love. Haynes Bayly Isle of Beauty Absence makes Absence makes the heart grow fonder but heart grow fonder. Here is an excerpt from the Monophile by Pasquier a beautiful scan of the manuscript is available through GallicaAbsence makes the heart grow fonder but Fenton's quote is a translation of:.
La presence nous cause doncqu'un plaisir, un contentement en toute perfection: Voire que ce seul desir, ce seul souuenir d'elles pour estre extreme nous ostera toute souunance d'autre chose. Et tel tourment prouenant d'vne telle absence, surpassera sans comparaison tous plaisirs que lon pourroit imaginer en toutes autres femmes du monde. Presence therefore causes in us a pleasure, a perfect contentedness.
But absence an insatiable desire towards our wives, which is enough to hold back all other temptations. This desire, the simple memory of them to take an extreme case extracts from us all memory of any other thing.
And the rapture of absence exceeds without comparison any other desire that one could imagine for all of the other women of Absence makes the heart grow fonder but world.
As it seems to me, such a love truly so passionate that it makes us forget all other passions, it can confound our reason, make us demigods. The research leads to Francis Davison's Poetical Rhapsody inwhere the words appear as the first phrase of a poem in the edition.
However,the author of this poem remains anonymous, and the identity of the writer unknown to
Absence makes the heart grow fonder but day. The part of the ballad where the famous quotation appears reads as thus:.
What would not I give to wander Where my old companions dwell? makes the heart grow fonder: Isle of Beauty, fare thee well! InterestinglyBayly appears to be talking about a specific place that had a special place in his heart.
I'm not terribly
Absence makes the heart grow fonder but, though; isn't this merely the same as saying, "I miss him terribly"? For hearts of truest mettle Absence doth join, and Time doth settle Has anyone ever unearthed the true identity of the author of this proverb?
Mari-Lou A 61k 54 Your strongest memories survive time, the week ones need refreshing, so If you love someone who irritates you, the love stays strong, but the irritation fades, and someone you are fond of but who is not constantly brought to mind will be forgotten. Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.
Absence makes the heart grow fungus. Mari-LouA - Both of those predate me, I'm afraid; I think that putting them together is original with me. This collection of howell's letters from includes a page introductory biography and appraisal of the letters.
The editor devotes the last 21 of those pages from lxi forward to the question of the letters' authenticity.
The whole introduction is well worth reading. Here is the complete third verse: Under the heading "Absence increases affection," Whiting offers the following items: Dear Brother how absenc endears a beloved object to us; its
Absence makes the heart grow fonder but Like burying them ; we forget all their faults and Every thing Disagreable, on the other hand Absence makes the heart grow fonder but Little act of kindness which then Pass'd unnoticed Google Books does not contain any other reference to the Burr quotation, but the Foster quotation appears in Hannah Webster Foster, The Coquettean epistolary novel: And Absence makes the heart grow fonder but Books finds a nonpreviewable volume which it dates to bearing this title: Sven Yargs k 18 Thanks your kind words, Mari-Lou.
At your suggestion, I've tried to identify major subsections of my answer by adding descriptive subheads.